Why I want to be a runner

In addition to my jewelry making, self-improvement books, BeautiControl, home projects, and helping friends with babies, I'm starting my Couch to 5K program! I've been wanting to do this for some time, and told myself I would do it over my summer break. I want to run because I think runners are the epitome of health and fitness. When I think of runners, I think of long, lean muscles, and someone who's not afraid to sweat. I hate sweating, but I know it's good for me.

So I started my Couch to 5K training today. It was mid-morning before I finally got the courage to go out and face the pavement. So the sun was already hot, and the air was very humid. But, I was determined to do this. I knew it wasn't going to be easy, I may have lost a lot of weight, but I'm still out of shape.

So I laced up my tennis shoes, grabbed my iPhone and headed out the door. I started the C25K app, and then my iTunes and started with a 5 minute walking warmup. After the 5 minutes, a friendly female voice said, "start running now." I ran (jogged) for 60 seconds, and then the voice said, "start walking now." And I said, "gladly!" This little conversation went on for another 15 minutes. I got a phone call halfway through the program, and had to figure out how to restart it. I should've ready the instructions to the app before I got started, it would've saved me 2 more minutes of walking. I stopped the program when there was about 8 minutes left, I was too hot and I was afraid my trembling legs were going to fall out from under me.

I got back to the house and downed a glass of ice water I had waiting for me on the kitchen counter, stripped off my sweaty clothes, and headed for a cold shower. The shower was wonderful, and I just let the water run over my face, which was red and puffy. I used my "Sharp Shower" mint body wash, and it was very refreshing.

I've decided that for day 2, which is Wednesday, I'm going to do this in the evening, in the evening after the sun is down for the day.

Wish me luck! And I'll keep you posted on my progress to becoming a runner!

My HCG Journey

I started out on this diet back in November, right before Thanksgiving. I knew I needed to make some major changes in how I approached health. I began this diet the heaviest I've ever been. I felt so sluggish and I just hated looking at myself. I think I had just accepted that I was going to be the "fat girl" forever. But then I decided I was worth it, and that anything worth doing was going to be hard.

I found the HCG diet on a billboard in Killeen. "Loose 40 lbs in 40 days!". Yeah, right...I

thought. I didn't lose 40 in 40, I lost 26 in 40! Still great. I decided to keep going and do another 40 days.. That round wasn't as successful. I know now looking back, that I should've taken a break. I got tired of the foods really quick the second time around. Well, now I'm finishing up my last 40 day round and I've lost a total of 47 lbs! I'm smaller than I was when we got married, and I haven't felt this great since college!

Before

After

I still have about 25-30 more pounds to go! But I'm going to take a break for a while and enjoy the size that I'm at. I've gone down 4 sizes!

www.hcgbasics.com

Long time comin'...

So, yes, it's been a very long time since I've blogged. It's really because I've been on a life journey that I've been waiting to write about. My journey isn't over, but I need to write about what's going on with me.

Where to begin, there's a lot going on! I really just want to talk about the changes I've physically made. I've lost 37 pounds! Yes, it's amazing, I know! And I really never thought I'd be able to say that. My journey to my ideal weight isn't over, and it's been a tough one.

The last 2-3 weeks of my diet I've kinda been stalling. The diet I'm on, HCG diet, is very strict and only works under specific conditions. I only eat 500 calories a day on it, so for the last 60+ days I've basically been starving myself, while using the HCG shots. I'm not venting on the fact that I chose to do this diet, just getting over a period of burn-out. I'm about to begin another round of 20 days of VLCD (very low calorie diet) and I'm trying how to figure out how to get past this feeling of being burned out.

I printed off Dr. Simeons "Pounds & Inches" book, he's the doctor that created the diet and the science behind how it approaches obesity. I plan to read this to help me remember how and why this diet works, and what I have to do to ensure the science part of it works. It's not going to work if I eat over 500 calories a day, or even if I eat 500 calories of foods off the protocol list.

I have a lot of things to be proud of, and I'm just learning that I'm human through this, and I can't believe I expected myself to be perfect through it. Well, I knew I wouldn't be perfect, but I didn't expect it to be this hard, or for me to fall-off-the-wagon for this long. I'm getting back on the wagon today, it's NEW DAY, and I'm a NEW ME! So, pray for me! Because it is challenging, and trying.

Fear

"The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself." FDR

I've been thinking a lot about this quote the last few days. How true it is. I never thought I was afraid of anything, until I was forced to really think about it. One thing I realized I feared is what other people think about me. This is so much to a point that it is controlling. What bothers me more is that I allow it. I allow my fears to control what I eat, what I wear, how I do my hair, how I worship, how I pray, and so much more.

"Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves." Phil. 2:3

Through my experience at "The Road Adventure", (www.theroadadventure.com)

I have realized that I shouldn't care what other people think. I only need to be concerned with what my God thinks. I'm not discounting the fact that what Bart thinks is important to me. I know that if I'm pleasing God, I will please my husband.

Sunday at church, I was standing in the balcony, where we normally sit, and I just realized that I didn't feel free to worship God as I want. Now, I love my church, and I love the people at my church. However, it doesn't promote a "freeing" atmosphere. It doesn't encourage people to feel the sweet release from having no reservations during worship. I stood there during a worship song, very reserved, and was having a very intense internal battle. It was kinda like having a good angel and a bad angel on my shoulders. The bad one was saying, "if you raise your hands in worship you're going to look silly because no one else is doing it. Plus you'll make others who don't understand you feel uncomfortable." Then the good one was saying, "Worship God how you want to! He wants to see and feel your heart! It doesn't matter what others think! This is a time to glorify God!" So, the good angel won, and I lifted my hands in adoration and thanksgiving for all that my God has done for me. There was a time when I wouldn't have been embarrassed to do this. I lost that person a long time ago because of tragedies that I faced. I lost the freedom to worship though my own actions. God still deserved to be worshiped, but it was out of my own self-pity and lack of faith that I stopped worshiping him with an open heart. God has since shown me that he is worthy of my trust and he is worthy of my worship.

I also realized that where we sit during service isn't beneficial to my spiritual growth. We have always sat in the balcony, part out of convenience, and part out of being a "back row baptist." So I've decided it's too distracting sitting in the balcony. So many things to look at when you're at the top. That, and there are so many families with children that sit up there. I love children, but they are a distraction to me.

This morning on the way to work, God really spoke to me. They were talking about fear on KLove and that's what sparked a lot of my thinking today. One of the hosts asked this question: "What would life be like if our first reaction was out of faith and not out of fear?" Wow...what an amazing thought!? Just the fact that they were talking about this on the radio showed me that everyone does this! How silly are we? To place so much care and importance in what others will think, when all along all that matters is what God thinks and that I can fall asleep at night. Living with no regrets is difficult. One thing I do regret is placing so much pressure on myself and on my life to be perfect. Because it hasn't been perfect, and I know I'm not perfect. But I aim for perfection. But why? When I know that I will fail? The reason is because we should aim for perfection in God's eyes, not in the world's.

My hope and prayer for you is that you will stop putting so much weight into what others think about you. That you will put your trust in God and act out of faith and not fear. Faith that you can believe and trust in God's perfect will and design for your life.

Blessings to you.

The Road Adventure -- Part I

Ok,

So this last weekend I went to a self-growth seminar called "The Road Adventure." It was an amazing experience. I learned so much about myself and I'm going back for Part II which starts in a week and a half. Part I was all about grieving over past hurts and pains, and learning to forgive. Part II is all about self-discovery. My homework between parts I & II was to decide "what do I want out of life?" I don't want to give too many details in case anyone who reads this decides they want to go through it. The best way I can describe it is that The Road Adventure is a life-changing, experiential growth seminar. It was formed by a Christian based ministry, but the seminar is designed to meet the needs of anyone.

So what do I want out of life?

I want to be happy. Whatever that looks like, I want it. Being happy to me is being successful in my relationships, not being afraid to be who I want to be, not being afraid of what other people will think, helping people with their lives, and traveling and experiencing the world as God made it. Maybe I could become a part-time travel writer.

On a different note, last night Bart & I were driving home from dinner, and the topic of winning the lottery came up. We talked about what we would do with $40 million. It was fun to fantasize about what we would do. And taking an extended vacation was on the top of our list. Let's move to Italy for half a year.

I'll have more to write on The Road as I finish processing everything that I discovered. I highly recommend it to anyone who has been through any sort of trauma or pain, or past hurts from relationships.

It was a good car...

(little "chipped tooth")

It was a good car. My dream car actually. I know most of you won't think the Jetta could be a "Dream Car", but oh yeah, it sure can. I've wanted one since I was in high school. I dreamed of a silver one to be exact. My dream came true 6 years after high school. I finally got my dream car.

Well, we all grow up, and when I saw my first VW Touareg, I was in love again. They are super expensive though and I knew it would be a while for me to get one. So, I held on to my HS dream for as long as I could, and we came across a great deal on a Touareg. We couldn't pass it up. So, I know have my grown-up car! I love it!

Thank you Jetta! I'll never forget you!

"Just tell me no..."

So...here's a story about a little girl and a silly bug that turned her world upside down.....

Once upon a time there was a high-maintenance girl who married a blue-collar man and they lived in a really old house on the verge of falling apart.  After about six months of newly wed bliss in their junk yard paradise, they had an unwelcomed visitor.  Previously in the day they had their first real married argument, but after the following events, neither could remember what the argument was about.  She went to bed angry, upset that they had a fight, and he stayed up a little bit longer to cool off.

Upon entering the bedroom, finding his princess asleep, he crawled into bed with her.  It wasn't long until he was up, and slowly turning the lights on.  She didn't like being waken up, especially with lights, so this upset her further.  She pulled the covers over her head ad buried her eyes into her pillow.  She asked, "Why are you turning the lights on??!!", he answered softly, "I heard something hit the ceiling fan."  At that moment, he turned the light on and saw a scorpion crawling on her purple satin pillow case.  She doesn't really remember what happened next, except there was a lot of screaming and crying.  He had ran over to her pillow and pinned the creature down with her pillow case.  She was  hysterically standing on the foot board with only her tip-toes.  (The movie "Honey I Shrunk the Kids" really scared her as a child.)

He asked her calmly to get a tissue but she was so distraught she thought there was an army of them waiting for her to step on the floor.  She said, "Where there's one, there's more."  Between tears she jumped down and ran to the bathroom and grabbed a tissue for him to kill the bug and then she returned to her position on the foot board.  After it was over, she cried and cried for hours.  She swore that she could no longer live in their love shack, (literally). 

They started looking for houses in the "city" (Belton) the next day.  They closed on a house a month later.

Now...fast forward about 6 years.  they now live in a beautiful house in the country.  

Last night we were watching TV and for the first time in 6 years I saw the dreadful creature from my past.  There I was, laying on the couch, enjoying the season finale of Law & Order: SVU, and on the arm of the couch I see the silhouette of a scorpion.  I jumped up and told Bart it was on there, and he came to my rescue and killed the insect.  I asked him if he thought there were anymore, and he said he wasn't sure....and I then told him, "Just tell me no."  And he did.